The Fort, Part II

Ever since Fort Beef came down we've discussed the possibility of erecting a new fort. Until recently, this was nothing more than something talked about. For whatever reason, the discussion has turned into a reality.

On Friday evening I took measurements in apartment 309 while Kristin sketched the layout and labeled it with the appropriate lengths. I then went straight to Lowes to price out PVC pipe. In order to construct a proper fort, 140 feet is needed. Multiply that by the cost of a 10 foot stick, add in the necessary fittings, and other miscellaneous materials and the total comes to around $30. Then divide this between the dedicated fort members (likely all those who are reading this) and it will only cost a few dollars a piece!


After leaving Lowes I was quite bored as well as excited about the Fort, Part II. In an effort to give direction to my unbridled excitement, I downloaded Google Sketchup and made a 3D diagram of the Fort, Part II. See pictures below.


Once the Fort, Part II is complete (meaning the inside and outside lights are wired to The Clapper) all are welcome to come bask in it's glory. However, if too many visitors come I will start charging admission. Yeah I know I don't live there but give me a break; I have an unpaid internship.


Also, construction should begin within a week.

My Exciting Life

I've noticed lately that quite a few people have been asking me what's new in my life and/ or what exciting things are happening right now for me. I see my life as pretty unexciting. However, in case anyone else was wondering, and to appease the masses, here is a list of everything exciting going on in my life right now.

• I'm coaching track and field for the UVU Special Olympics team

Other than what's on that list, my life is pretty mundane. I go to school and then come home. If I had a job I would do that, but I don't have one so....... that's my like at this point.

And That's Why I Wear One Too!

There's one commercial in my opinion that should win an award. I feel this way for several reasons. First, the acting/ personal testimonies are better than 99.9% of all other commercials. Second, it's one of the longest running commercials in the U.S. It was first aired in 1987 and continues to this day. Third, no matter how many times I see it, it's always humorous. Fourth, a former U.S. Attorney is featured. Okay, so it may be obviously outdated, but it's still a great commercial. 

Did you figure out which commercial it is?

It's the Life Alert commercial!

Many people's favorite part of the commercial is when an elderly woman exclaims, "I've fallen and I can't get up!" Although it is a good part, and the beginning to the catch phrase, it is not my favorite part. My favorite part is towards the end when another elderly woman states, "All senior citizens should have Life Alert!" I don't know why, but I love that lady. She has such conviction and zeal. I love it. I love her! I wish it were possible to have another grandmother because I want her to be my grandmother.

*If you want to watch the commercial go here.

I'm addicted?

Every night since Friday night I've woken up in the middle of the night several times. Usually, I wouldn't be terribly concerned. However, when I've woken up the last few nights my heart has been pounding, my entire body is shaking, and I'm sweating enough to fill a Big Gulp cup. After several nights of this I began to worry about myself.

In an effort to take control of my life again I turned to a very trustworthy source; Wikipedia. I discovered that I am going through withdrawals. This was quite perplexing to me because I do not smoke, drink alcohol, or use any drugs. I began to think about any of the foods I have been eating regularly and I came up with nothing. For days this has been weighing on my mind.

You know how sometimes people wake up in the middle of a dream and as they're waking up they hear themselves saying something? Well that happened to me at about 3 am. I woke up just in time to hear myself screaming, "VIVA LA FORT!" I'm going through fort withdrawals! I'm so glad I finally was able to determine what is haunting me in my sleep. It's so difficult for me because I quit forting cold turkey. According to Wikipedia, quiting something which is highly addictive (i.e. the fort) suddenly is highly dangerous and sometimes results in severe depression and sometimes prolonged stages of dysphoria (the opposite of euphoria). 

In an effort to thwart this I have been self medicating with energy drinks, swiss rolls, and not doing homework. I think my new regimen is already working and will continue to work as long as I stay strong.

If only I could have "stimulating" dreams like Jenny. 

When sorrows come, they come not single spies, But in battalions. -William Shakespeare

Overall, my weekend was pretty good. However, if I were a pessimist my weekend likely would have been horrible. It all started on Friday....

Friday:

• As I was getting a slow leak in one of my tires on my car, the friendly Les Schwabb employee informed me that I need new tires, very badly. That should only cost me $500 to $600. Good thing I have a job. Wait, I don't have a job. Crap!
• I was slightly depressed because of the tire situation and lost all motivation to do anything productive the rest of the day so I sat on the couch outside for several hours doing absolutely nothing.
• The fort came down. This was by far the most depressing thing all weekend. I stayed depressed about this event throughout the entire weekend.

Saturday:

• I went on a 25 mile bike ride to the hot springs in Price Canyon only to find out that they smell truly awful. They smell like rotting sulfur mixed with INSERT WORST SMELLING THING YOU CAN THINK OF HERE and felt obligated to get in because of the long bike ride I took to get there. I ended up smelling like, well.... let's keep it family friendly and just say I smelled bad.
• At about mile 21 on the bike ride my legs decided to cramp up and not work properly. This was almost exactly the same time the strong winds began to blow towards me.
• Because I was so exhausted from the bike ride I accomplished nothing the rest of the day. Unless you count sitting. I accomplished a lot of sitting.
• When I got home Saturday night my front door was wide open and I thought someone broke into my apartment. I had to have Bruce and Greg help me look in closets and under the beds for any potential intruders. None were discovered.
• I couldn't sleep.

Sunday:

• I dropped the shampoo bottle on my toes in the shower.
• The weather has been so nice lately but got really cold.
• Emily suggested to the Bishop that I become the Elder's Quorum Pres when Stew leaves just so Emily could have fun in Ward Council again. Apparently I make Ward Council fun. All I really do is hit on Emily, a lot, as well as distract Emily and anyone else around me from the meeting, by hitting on Emily.
• My efforts to steal Mary away from Greg were to no avail. She's way to loyal to that self-centered jerk.
• The test results came back positive for gonorrhea. Just kidding!
• My mom gave me a hard time for not sending her a birthday card last year and I tried to explain that I had no money at the time. However, as all people with mothers know, there's no winning an argument like that with a mother.

So, my weekend pretty much sucked. Tons of awful and terrible things happened to me. Well, they're not that bad. If I had a bad attitude about things I would be upset. But my weekend was actually pretty fun. A lot of good things happened to me as well. I just thought it was interesting how even though quite a few bad things happened to me, I still had a good weekend. My weekend was not depressing at all, except for the fort coming down. I'm still depressed about that.

Oregon is Definitely the Best

I love Oregon. It's the definately the coolest place I’ve ever been. I’m not just saying that because that’s where I call home, I’m saying it because it really is the coolest place I’ve ever been. Most of my experience is in the Portland/ northwest region of the state. To let you all know why it’s the coolest place on earth I’ve created a picture list of why Oregon is the best. I've been to all but a few of the places pictured below. I thought about putting them in order from the coolest to the cool, but then I remembered that everything I’ve done in Oregon is equally amazing and, therefore, I cannot rank them.

The Columbia River Gorge

The Columbia River Gorge is my favorite place to hike. There are tons of waterfalls, trails canopied by giant trees, and amazing viewpoints. 

Portland

I absolutely love Portland. It has a diverse offering of things to see and do. Portland is known for being a little weird, but that's part of the reason why I love it so much. By the way, the picture in the upper left-hand corner is the world's smallest park, Mill Ends Park.

The Coast

The Oregon Coast, not the beach, is truly a unique place. Although most people don't go swimming there due to the cold water, it's still a Mecca of sorts in the summer for Oregonians. If you go make sure you visit the Tillamook Cheese Factory in Tillamook. And make sure you get a sample of the squeaky cheese.

Mt. Hood

I know it may seem like just another mountain, but Mt. Hood is no ordinary mountain. It's the second most climbed mountain in the world, as well as home to the only ski resort in North America that offers year-round skiing. The Mt. Hood National Forest, which surrounds the mountain is full of lakes, rivers, hiking trails, more hiking trails, and picturesque views.

Friday Night

Last Friday night was surprisingly fun. We were down 2 - Kristin and Bruce - but still managed to have a great time. We spent most of the night wondering around BYU campus taking random pictures. We tried to get into the mysterious secret tunnel that goes from the HVAC to the Marriot Center, and then to the MTC or temple. We think we may know where the entrance is but we got stuck at the door because none of us know how to pick a lock. Also, I didn't have any repelling equipment so we couldn't bypass the gate that led to the entrance. But we did find a lot of paper, some shredded, some not shredded. All-in-all it was a great night. By the way, making the pictures we took black and white makes us look even cooler.